what happens?

what happens when you did really badly for all your internal assessments?

what happens when you really need those Ds, but with ur effing bad internal assessments, there's no way you can get it?

what happens when all you're geared to do now, even at the expense of ignoring ur friends (sorry, ppl.. especially my housemates >.<), comes to no point?

what happens when those bouts of headaches and stress and depression prove what you always knew?

that you were never really that good but you'd like to think so otherwise. you hopes so because everyone expected you to have such a bright future and u'd hate to disappoint them but this is the best u can manage and it's nowhere near what was expected

what happens when everything seems so bleak, but you still have to soldier on?

what happens?

nothing. absolutely nothing. you smile bravely, you spend only what time's needed for food and baths and you push yourself, your mind, your sanity to the brink, to try bring this home.

i hope i get my Ds. after my last sem of horribleness, i have to say my self-esteem has been eroded beyond comprehension. am clutching at straws but please, let me do well.